dampsandwich:

“Sir do you have any idea how fast you were going”
“My wife is pregnat”
“thats a blow up doll”

kushdrinker:

my search was successful 

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

carradineway:

harryedward:

Vine needs to be stopped

Spitted my whole water out, fam.

a-simplelimabean:

so my friend killed a moth and he kind of just 

fleshmorph:

dietchola:

 we’re just living in a web of lies now aren’t we

this is the most incredible photo ever

fearlesskids:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

commanderinqueef:

imagine if butterflies breathed fire 

but only a little bit of fire

“hi pet butterfly would you light this candle for me?”

*puff puff*

“thanks little buddy”

“yo butterfly light my joint”

“thanks lil nigga”

henrythedrunkoctopus:

promo4homo:

masturbationvacation:

cant u die from this

Being black? Wow I honestly cannot believe racism still exists in this day and age; it’s sickening.

omfg I laughed so fucking hard at this picture

godnibblets:

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love the acting in gay porn.

hitlersbreastmilk:

do not make decisions at 2 am when you are sad